Fluids & Membranes: A journey
The journey begins with intention
To breathe from the cells
To sink into the fluid nature of the cells
To feel the membranes
To experience the movement of fluid through the membranes
To become the cell
Starting with stillness
But…at once..
A resistance to being still
The body finds the floor but can’t rest
It wants and needs to yield but it can’t find stillness
The fluids feel stagnant
There is discomfort
The nervous system feels engaged
It is fizzing
A feeling of sickness and panic
Where is safety?
How to drop into the cells, the Earth, to find safety
Standing now and feeling the skin as a membrane
Finding the breath as a way of finding the permeability and releasing fluids into the skin membrane
This is a good start
A way to find a sense of the membranes
A melting of the skin into the space around it
The fizzing calms
Lying down now there is a new anxiety felt in the cells
They don’t feel safe when still
Any movement feels forced,
It is coming through the adrenals,
The nervous system is engaged and in charge
Directing and orchestrating this movement
The nervous system feels like strings drawn taught
The whole system feels dehydrated
Tense
Where to go for safety?
Back to the womb
Back to the amniotic fluid filled space
There, there is the safety
Some movement begins from the outside in
As if moving in the womb
This feels safer than the Earth
Now when lying the anxiety is tolerated
The amnion is supporting
Now there can be a yielding to the Earth
Now there is a sinking
Holding the image of the amniotic fluid supporting behind and beneath
Something a little more fluid than the Earth to rest on
Safer held by fluid
Cosmic waters
The space in the belly is felt
A liquid blackness
A yin space
It begins to expand out to include the whole body
The earth ripples and yields beneath like water in a pond
The yin space opens out from the belly button and spirals out
Spreading through the whole body
Now there is a yielding to the earth
Yielding or merging?
Safer now
Held somehow in the field
Now a physical structure can be felt without panic
Resting now in the cell
Waiting
Stilness
The cells are starting to breathe
A fluid dancing breath
Now there is tension in the fascia
The membranes are boundaried
Protecting
Focusing now on the cell membranes
There is a sense that the membranes are holding on
Trapping me inside this watery womb
Keeping life out
Waves of movement ripple over the body
And suddenly
Membranes feel totally collapsed
As if liquid and fluid is leaking and flowing out of the cells
Pooling on the floor
Struggling to find structure
Exhaustion
A total lack of desire or ability to come into any kind of shape
Where are the cell boundaries now
Where is the elasticity
Moving through the womb again
As if never born out of this watery boundless state
There is a knowing that elasticity will come
Only when there is movement out of this protective womb
Standing up now
Spiralling up
Ever upwards
Reaching, stretching
Like an elastic band
Movement is now of limbs radiating out from the centre
Reaching, pushing, pulling in all directions
Like a starfish
The first earliest movements being born into form
Enough
The body needs to curl
Process digest and reform