WIldness and Grief
WILDNESSS and GRIEF
There is a hidden wildness in me
As humans we make everything tidy, sorted, successful, ordered.
There is a grief in this
The grief that the joy, the passion, the meaning is in the disorder and chaos.
The awe and wonder of life unfolding in ever surprising ways.
Not life organised in a sterile story written by these characters that we create.
These characters don’t know WILDNESS, FREEDOM, PASSION
They know what they have been taught.
What they have been moulded into by life, society, institutions and family.
They know how to survive in the world they find themselves
They know to fit in
How to be accepted, successful, admired
How to protect themselves from hurt
How to seek out pleasure and hide from pain
But they don’t “know"
How can we feel into what is True for us
Who we are in Truth
The answer is so simple and terrifying
So out of our grasp most of the time
A searing courage to trust in the wild parts of us that are deeply connected to nature
To the elements
Because they know the source of life is not tame.
It is chaotic, alive, terrifying, awe-inspiring, gentle, compassionate, passionate all at the same time
This bring ups a devastating feeling of deep GRIEF
My grief
Universal grief
Ancestral grief
For a life lived so blind
A forgetful life in so many ways
My heart breaks open to this grief
Grief and heartbreak as portals
Grief forces me into a position of powerlessness where the only option left is total surrender.