What is it to be feminine?

Portals opening

Head, Eye, heart

Light beaming

But then

The Solar Plexus

A Membrane

Locked

Intense Grief and Fear

Reaching for the Earth

There is death here

Rocking like a baby, holding, waiting

Coughing,

Choking,

Wretching

The membrane

A veil between two worlds

Keeping them separate

The lower world

Chaos, sexuality, sensuality

Protected, forbidden, hidden

Fear

What next?

Support from above now

Holding until ready

Such love and gentleness

Waiting patiently

But its time

There is a prayer

Arms opening

Dancing

Like an Hourglass

From the heavens

To the heart

Below this

The neck of the hourglass

There is a roar

Opening a portal

At the Solar plexus

To the Belly

Stuck again

Battling

Another Roar

The struggling, the fight itself

That is what is blocking access

Do this differently now

Without the fight

No resistance

Wait

Surrender

Then comes the shame

The Grief

Lining the walls of the portal

Filling the space

Barring the way

Disgust

The face deforms with it

What next?

How?

Enter this space?

Risk everything

Leave you?

All this work and I must leave you

All for nothing?

A voice

‘You know trust’

An image

A stream of liquid light

Connecting both worlds

Stop the fight now

And Trust

This liquid light flows into the belly

Sickness

Contractions start
But it is not time yet

This Shame must be seen

Be expressed

Be released

It dances with the grief

Hands to the face

Rocking

Arms wrap around the body like a baby

You can’t stay here

Rest but you cannot stay-

Not this time

The shame again

The body collapses with it

Lying

star shaped on the floor

Nothing left

But to give to the Earth now

Surrender

Contractions again

Fear

Contractions wrack the belly

Birthing?

What to do?

Where is the help?

Not here?

Now, now is the time

The time to remember my promise

I will not leave

But you do this alone

I am waiting for you on the other side

This is courage

This is faith

Waters Breaking

Flowing into the cells

Freedom

Breathless

Sexuality

Sensuality

Again, a roar

Anger, destruction power

The mask drops

The face softens

No shame now

This is power

Feminine

Mine

Lying down now

Allowing the contractions in the belly

The left side opens

Contractions move to the right side

The energy climaxes

Waves

Someone laughs

The body softens and flows into movement

Not the birthing of something heavy

Not the birthing of something dark

That heaviness

That darkness

Was the shame

The shame that barred the way

To birthing the light

Of course you were not leaving

You were arriving

But to see that

There had to be trust

Prepared to leave you

Prepared To die

To find you